It’s snowing in WordPress! Has it really been that long? It’s like I hibernated through the Fall: I left blog in the gloaming tones of autumn and only returned in time for sub-zero temps of my very very least favorite season. Geez, Sleeping Beauty, why didn’t anyone wake me up?
Strange that there is snow in my blogosphere. I didn’t approve it. It must surely be the first snowfall that all the crazy widows and orphans of the intertubes have ever seen, sheltered as they are, cozy in their rambling blogs, entrance essays and last-minute E-Vites.
Speaking of widows and orphans, I can only assume that is what has become of my blog–abandoned and orphaned, so long has it been since I have visited. I am the dead beat Dad of the uninformed NBA blogging world. At least the club is an exclusive one. I would like to say I am more devoted.
I wish that I had the determination and focus of a dog with a bone, a mother whose child is in distress, those beefy women in Girls Just Want to Have Fun who rescue party invitations from under a car. I’d like to say that nothing can tear me away. However, in the spirit of the holidays, and therefore of honesty (That IS what Christmas and Hannukah and all are about right? Honesty? Truth? Not overeating and overspending and overindulging in the coat room of your company’s Christmas party?) here is a short list of the things that will, indeed, keep me away from this blog:
Friends, family, aeroplanes over the sea, brutal ear infections, The Tudors, vicodin, Chinese food, laundry, my second job, sleep, my cute boyfriend, PBR, my third job, Farmville, the broken E button on one of my keyboards, the smell of gasoline on my scarfWoot-offs, impromtu major hair changes, AAA, no sound in the bar, Christmas shopping, no visible power jack, terrible Matthew MaConaughey movies, balancing my checkXcellSheet and giant Mexican marshmellows.
Not to mention the truly unimpressive display of Nuggets basketball that led to a disappointing–to say the least–and an appalling and horrific–to say the most–lost to the Bobcats on Tuesday night. That’s right, after all the Psycho babble, I DO actually intend to over my very few pittences about basketball, whether you want them or not. After a shattering Monday evening, on which I made a huge blunder, misreading the time of a Nuggets game and, like a fool, a FOOL, opted instead to update the iTunes library on my uber-sexy new lappy with Rockn’ Mole. I took no small amount of flack from said Yeti, either. “Iverson only back once…kissing the floor…trusted you with the time…yada yada yada.” That is is tack: bully and mock until submission=lesson learned. I can’t wait for you to have children, Moley, Mole, Mole, Mole.
But I did agree that the event of my silly mistake–stupid even, if we must be so blunt–was a sad one. I was looking forward to my triumphant return, and had already missed so many gems of things to rip apart on my blog (tigerwoodsyouadultereryou, melowherewereyouforthatgameagainsttheVikings, Birdmanpleaseshaveoffyourmustacheyouarecreepingoutthechildrenandspreadingmorefearthanwings), and, after a week away and a week bedridden as Yao in the 2008-2009 season, I really wanted to get back in the game, so to speak.
I did manage to make it to a dark, loud and distant-screened bar in time to see most of the game after the 1st quarter against the Bobbies. However, between the viewing handicaps, the car trouble and trips out to meet Triple A, the stress tears and subsequent Irish coffees, little quality viewing was done. However, even the dad, we will call him PJ for the sake of his privacy and esteem in his local communities, who is no fan of the NBA knew enough to say that we Nuggets had no business losing to “those jokers.” Amen, PJ, amen.
For the sake of time I must end my rant there, with little original commentary on the two-days-ago game, and one last gift to scout, I must be out. But let this blog be a show of good faith: Elvis is back in the building.